Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize