woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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