He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize