Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Sorry my hands just texted you
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize