halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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