So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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