....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
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I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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