and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
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We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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