Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize