Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like the Real World with babies
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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