Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i think we sleep fucked last night...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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