I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize