Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize