I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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