David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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