Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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