About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize