Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
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conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
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I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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