That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize