Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize