Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize