This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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