you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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