Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
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And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
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I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
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