her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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