mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize