I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
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I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
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There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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