Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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