i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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