I skipped work to stalk him.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize