You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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