hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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