Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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