I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize