hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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