I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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