what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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