Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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