Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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