this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize