dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize