i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
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I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
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Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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