if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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