Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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