I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize