Me. At least after what I've been through.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize