I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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