Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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