the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize