is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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